A Little Sad

I cried on Tuesday as I put Aulora's pajamas on. It's hard to know that she is not my baby anymore. All the sudden she's so big in every way. Since I can't lift her or carry her yet, she has been going to mother's day out on Tuesdays and Thursdays with Sandy. So she leaves in the morning, then has a nap and isn't up until about 3 or 4. I miss her! I'm used to her being my little buddy and now things are just different. I ache to pick her up and squeeze her. John David puts her in her crib at night and gets her out in the morning for me. Things will settle down and I'll get to do those things again, but right now it really makes me sad.

I know I have enough love for each of them, but sometimes I worry that there's just not enough me for all of them...sigh.......

Since this post is about sad stuff, I'll stick this in there too - I cried on the way home from the hospital. I also cried before we left as we were waiting to get discharged. It was over. I know that sounds so silly. Here I had a baby boy that was only 2 days old and I was crying because it was over. But it was all of the pregnancy that was over. My big belly. All of the anticipation of delivering a new baby and meeting him for the first time. Over. And if all goes as planned, it's over for good. So it was a sad thing.

I think I'm ok now though. I'm busy enjoying the things that aren't over. Like tiny baby feet and sweet baby breath. Teeny diapers that don't stink even though they're dirty. Cuddling 2 little babies in my arms at the same time in the rocking chair. Taking naps with 3 babies at the same time in my bed. Wonderful, precious times......