Lifetime of Lasts

Well, I did it - I survived one of the hardest days of my life. I sent my baby boy to school for the first time! I wasn't worried a bit about him because I knew he would have a great time (that was confirmed when he stood in the hall with me as first one class and then another filed by before the tardy bell rang and he loudly said hello and waved to every student as they passed). I was the one I knew would have a hard time. I was holding it together decently as we left (decently meaning I was only crying silently and not wailing) until Julia started crying and saying "John David, come back!" Once we were in the car, we cried a little more and then we headed to Walmart to shop away our pain (don't laugh that we went to Walmart - it was just the only store that was open at 8:00 in the morning).

I came across this poem last night. It's written from the perspective of a mother looking back over the years after her son is grown. We have so many memory making times ahead of us and I want to treasure each moment as it comes knowing that my baby will be all grown up much too fast.

"Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past,
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.

The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips...
Last time that I lifted you and help you on my hip...
Last time when you had a binky stuck inside your mouth...
The last time that you crawled across the floor the this old house.

Last time when you ran to me, still small enought to hold,
Last time when you said you'd marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from the past,
Would I have held you longer if I'd known they were the last?

Your last few hours of kindergarten, last days of first grade...
Last at bat in Little League, last colored paper made.
Last time that I tucked you in for one last midday nap...
Last time when you wore your beat-up Green Bay Packers cap.

Last time that you caught a frog in that old backyard pond...
Last time when you ran barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly scattered images to represent your past.
Would I have taken pictures....if I'd known they were the last?

The last dark night you slipped in bed and slept between us two,
When last I read to you of God or Horton Hears a Who!
Last time that I smelled you hair and prayed after your shower...
Last time that we held devotions in the evening hours.

The last time that you giggled watching doodle bugs go,
Last time that you made an angel in the melting snow.
I never even said good-bye to yesterdays long passed.
Would I haved marked the moments...if I'd known they were the last?

Last piano lesson, and last soccer goal you kicked...
The last few weeks of middle school, last flowers that you picked.
Last time that you needed me for rides from here to there...
The last time that you spent the night with that old tattered bear.

Last time that I helped you with a math or spelling test,
Last time when I shouted that your room was still a mess.
Time and life moved quicker, taking pieces of your past.
Would I have stretched the moments...if I'd known they were the last?

The last time that you needed help with details of a dance...
Last time that you asked me for advice about romance.
Last time that you talked to me about your hopes and dreams.
Last time that you wore a jersey for your high school team.

I watched you grow and never noticed seasons as they passed.
I wish I could've frozen time, to hold on to your lasts.
For come tomorrow morning life will never be the same.
You'll plege forever to your girl, and she will take your name.

And I will watch you, knowing God has blessed you with this day.
I never would have wanted to somehow make you stay.
They say a son's a son until he takes for him a wife.
You're grown-up now; it's time to go and start your brand-new life.

One last hug, one last good-bye, one quick and hurried kiss...
One last time to understand just how much you'll be missed.
I'll watch you leave and think how quickly childhood sped past.
Would I have held on longer...if I'd known it was your last?"