Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Helmets? Muzzles? Pinesol?

It's a backwards theme this week so I'm laying it all out there with some of my biggest problems right now. I thought about asking for help with my addiction to Dr Pepper, but who am I kidding? I don't want help with that problem. All joking aside, I hope that someone, somewhere, has some answers for me!

First, my one year old. He's a freakin' monkey! He won't walk and he will barely, barely talk, but he climbs. Everything. Anything. Here are the pictures to prove it. I have four kids so it's kind of hard to watch him every moment. It's getting scary! I can at least close doors to bedrooms and bathrooms, but the dining table and couches are fair game. And we have tile floor. I've contemplated an electric fence around the whole table, but that seems a tad drastic. Ideas???

Second would be my loud mouth five year old. For awhile I thought maybe she was going deaf because she talks so loud ALL THE TIME. But after I tested her hearing (myself, not professionally), I determined she just has a loud mouth. We've developed a signal to tell her she needs to lower the volume, but she's usually too wrapped up in what she's saying to notice. That leads to us calling her name to get her attention, and then almost yelling her name so she can hear us over he own voice! It's crazy. Would duct tape be grounds for child abuse here? Or maybe a muzzle? I'm just wondering.

Lastly, my 8 year old hates tooth paste and teeth brushing. We've tried all kinds of stuff, but the most luck we've had is using Tom's Natural toothpaste. I guess it cleans the teeth, but it just doesn't cut it when it comes to Golden Graham breath in the morning. Yuck! I usually smell his breath after he brushes and if it's still stinky I make him use a child's mouthwash. This never goes over well and I have to threaten to ground him before he uses the stuff. For his classmates' sake, PLEASE help us! Morning breath + Golden Grahams = Raunchy!!! It seems like swishing some Pinesol might help but there's surely a more economical way. Have you seen the price of cleaners lately?  

Somebody help a girl! Seriously, I need some advice!

After you solve all my problems, go over to We Are THAT Family and help some others too....


  1. I might have a solution to try for Mr. Morning Breath: a disposable on-the-go toothbrush. We once had some individually wrapped, soft, over-the-finger types (I cannot for the life of me find the brand name) that my daughter loved using on the way out the door. Her Easter basket is going to have some of the new Colgate "Wisps" in it.

    If he doesn't like actually brushing, maybe try to teach him to floss. A dentist once told me that if I chose to either brush or floss, go with flossing. It'll definitely get those Golden Grahams out of there, and then if he could be convinced to swish with something - not Pine Sol ;) - he'd be good to go. My kids, who are a little older than yours, are telling me that green, minty adult mouthwashes are the best tasting.

  2. I have a loud mouth 6-year-old. I had her hearing professionally tested and guess what? Her hearing is perfectly normal. I still haven't figured out how to quiet her down. Our pediatrician said she'll outgrow it as she gets older and has more of an awareness of herself in relationship to the people around her. Until then, I still try to help her control her volume.

  3. I don't really have much advice for you, our children aren't particularly loud and although we have a climber, he does pretty well about not climbing on things he's not supposed to. However, I was wondering if you've ever considered... well, I don't even know what they're called, but they're devices that brush your teeth with water instead of a toothbrush and toothepaste. I don't think they're cheap, but it might be worth it for you. It might even be fun for him to have a special kind of toothbrush that only he gets to use. Anyway, if you consider this and want to try it, let me know and I'll get more information for you (I have a friend who uses one, which is how I know about them)

  4. Funny how your problems mirror mine :) I have a 5yo who talk loudly - but it turns out, she did have some hearing .. blockage? Not permanent, just fluid in the ears from a cold or something. I look at her and say "Diminuendo" <-- my kids love Little Einsteins and learned that means quieter from that.

    I also have a 14mo monkey is also constantly into everything. No advice there, except to remove the access where possible. I had take the the ladder to the bunk bed off when he's in the room b/c he's also figured out how to climb it. When the kids aren't sitting at their "craft" table (short kid-sized table), I put their chairs on top of it.

    As far as the toothbrusher goes - how bout an electric toothbrush? If necessary, use a reward chart to get him to do the behavior every time for the right length of time?