Every time I think I've seen it all, Julia does something new that leaves me shaking my head. Like tonight - we were getting ready to go out to eat. John is out of town for work (suffering in Key West, poor man) so I was getting the kids ready by myself.
I had everyone ready to walk out the door and all I needed to do was change Joshua's diaper. But then I looked down and saw Julia's jeans on the floor. The jeans she had been wearing just a few minutes ago. I examined them quickly but didn't see any sign of an accident, which is normally the case when I find her pants abandoned on the floor.
I started searching for her and finally found her hiding in my bathroom, naked from the waist down.
"What are you doing??? Did you have an accident?"
"Then what are you doing? Everyone is ready to go and we're waiting on you!"
It was obvious at this point that she did not want to tell me what the problem was. At last, she held up her leg and pointed at her knee which at first appeared to be covered in blood and scraped up skin.
"What happened? Are you hurt?"
She slightly shook her head no, so I looked more closely at her knee. It was something red for sure. And sticky. And very gooey. Red and sticky and gooey. And, wait a second, what's that smell? Strawberry! Red, sticky, gooey and strawberry!
Now I'm seeing that whatever this gooey mess is, it's smeared down her legs and on her feet and even at the top of her legs near her bottom. And she still wouldn't tell me what it was!
Everything in me wanted to shake her and demand that she tell me what she had managed to get all over herself. But that's not how it works with this child. If you lose it and holler, she shuts down. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. And not hollering is just so stinkin' hard to do sometimes because, man alive, she does things that just ask for a good hollering!
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Gather your composure, Mommy. Remain calm.
"Julia, what is on your legs?"
She finally squeaked out a soft answer. "Barbie Pop tart."
"How did a pop tart get on your legs?"
"I don't know."
"Of course you know! These are your legs! How did a pop tart get all over your legs???"
"I put it in my pants."
"You put it in your pants? Were you hiding it from me?"
Little head nod. "I wanted to eat it."
So there you have it. If ever you need a good hiding place, try your pants. Even if it's gooey and red and sticky, by all means, put it down in your pants. After all, what's a little red pop tart goo between friends?